Now.

Instead of having to repeat things,I decided to do a blog post about what is going on.Terribly public,but it is my only way of being able to reach my friends and family,as rumour has it,that there are some people around who dont use facebook.Can you imagine that?!

So,from the begining.I caught a slight cold from Emile,so have a scapegoat,lol!Three days later,I was rather wheezy and short of breath,and put it down to asthma.Didnt think it was bad,so decided to wait for a Monday to get some medication.So,Monday morning,on the fifteenth of the month,saw me swaying into the lobby of our local hospital.I was seen within minutes and told that I needed an IV,which I was expecting,as with rather bad asthma attacks,this is the fastest way to get relief.So,on the doctors orders,I lay down for a two hour IV.But thinking back,have no memory at all of being there.
After the IV,I do remember being ushured,albeit slowly,to see the doctor expecting to get a prescription and go home.Instead,he handed a bright yellow piece of paper,on which he had written beautifully in English “Acute bronchitis”and“Bronchial asthma”.So thats what I had and I waited for the damn prescription,that never came,lol! Within the hour I had all the pre-hospital admittion checks(blood,urine,chest x-ray,heart etc) and was taken to my room at the quieter end of the corridor.I was delighted that I had my own room and presummed that it was temporary.It was over a week later that I was told that I am in the high-dependency area and would be staying.

From then onwards is a blur.I was given an intense course of powerful anti-biotics,via IV, with two shots of steriods twice daily for the first twelve days. They managed to get a great IV line,so I just needed to be plugged into the drugs.I also had(have) sixteen tablets to be taken each day,and three times a day I have medicine in the form of mist that is inhaled.And after that,another inhalent which is the most foul tasting thing ever,and should be banned or used in warfare.

Each day of the first ten days just drifted by as I just lay back,tried not to talk as I started coughing,and taking ten minutes to go to and from the loo,which is meteres away,At the time,it didnt seem strange that I couldnt even stand up without losing my breath.How funny the mind is.My mobile phone was my only way to communicate,and still is,and I clung to it,texting and PMing and taking over Facebook.I just needed something to do and the security that I was not alone at any time.For the first ten days I couldnt sleep except for an hour at the longest and nights were long.But I was able to be in touch with a friend somewhere in the world at any given time and it was extraordinary to witness such a network of events；from births,marriages,deaths,it all happened plus plenty more during those ten or so days.

After around the tenth day,I had a shock to realise that I had been here so long.Despite all my texting and FBing,it didnt seem real and it dawned on me that the drugs were pretty powerful and making me feel totally out of it.It was a little bit similar to the feeling when you suddenly realise that you have a raging fever,hence you are whoozy,and you give into the fever.And it was a very strange feeling as I felt lousy.Best way to describe it,is as if you have had way too much to drink,cant talk or move in fear of vomiting,are very aware of your surroundings and want to go home,but you dont know if your legs can get you anywhere.Not that I have ever experienced anything like that.Hear say…

Not obviously enjoying this feeling at all,I had a bad couple of days and started worrying aboutthe effect of the medication on me.And it was after the course of steriods,then anti-biotics ended, that a fresh new penny dropped(and this one makes me feel like such an idiot but I have no pride)；the drugs are(were) not making me feel ill.What is making me feel ill is my body being ill. Doh! But Ive never been really ill before so had no idea about what happens,lol. You get flu,you feel lousy where you should,then you get better.And my lungs werent doing well but now they work again so I get better? Seems not.

So today,and I am still here.Still in my tequila world.But able to talk and wobble around.Oh and blog,so aint that grand! The lowdown is that my asthma was severe and took far too long to get under control.Hopefully blood tests in the morning will have positive results(ho ho) and my body will start to mend.And then I can think about going home and recuperating there.I was due back at work on September the first,but work is on hold for the time being.

Each day still drifts by and the hospital routine is gentle.I am still not able to sleep for long periods of time,and eating just a little fruit and other bits each day.I am happy to just lie in bed and listen to the sounds of the hospital.Friends pop in,but visits have been limited now.Kenichi brings the girls when he can but I had to say no a couple of times as I didnt feel well and didnt want them to see me so out of it.I feel terribly lucky to remain in mx own room and am coming to terms with the fact that I dont know how long I will be here and my body is calling the stops now,however much I sulk.

I have been overwhelmed by love and support during the last weeks.On a local scale,friends rallied around and made sure that the girls were OK.Kenichi has help from my MIL,goes without saying,but she is also coping with my FIL,who refuses to go into hospital,stubborn old goat.And I have been visited bx the elders of the Tokita clan（6.30am visit,lol!)and I have had such a boost from friends and family；a parcel full of goodies and interior magazines,literally hundreds of texts(and mostly from one amazing person),PMs,messages on Facebook,links to songs,comedy sketches,articles.Friends just writing to tell me about their day,their plans and what they have been up to.And everyone who humoured me on my FB page,and provided me with a place to escape from reality,and to laugh,not wallow,worry cry.Offers to send books,DVDs,kindles…you name it.Amazing.Here I am,stuck in a hospital bed
in the middle of a remote part of Japan,surrounded by all my friends and family.Arent I the lucky one!

Before this becomes even more over the top and overdramatic so I shall stop,and save that for my deathbed.But thanks is due and thanks is being given,believe me!

From a normal hectic daily life packed with schedules and deadlines,to suddenly being forced to stop and live a while without knowing what will happen and when…its a very humbling experience,you know.

And I have a new,albeit familiar,mantra ；
This too shall pass…. but if you could keep holding my hand for the time being,that would be grand!

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